Too weak to give in

[attr="class","jpostietext"]"Please," John said with a roll of his eyes. "Isn't it up to the sperm anyway? Therefore it's up to me what's in there." With a devilish smile, he turned his eyes back to the other cars, letting his hand linger on her belly before pulling it away when they started to get a move on. Switching on the radio to avoid the silence that had become the norm since her little slip, he pulled the car out of the lot. With the rain getting heavier, it was harder to see, even with the windshield wipers swiping back and forth. Still, John paid close attention to the road, as always.

The wind was starting to howl and fork of lightning streaked across the darkened sky as they sat, waiting for a red light to turn green. A chill went down his spine when he heard the song that came over the radio and he immediately reached over to change it. Even years later, the man found it hard to listen to the the song that had been playing on the radio when he and his father got into what proved to be a fatal accident, no matter how good of a song it was.

"Come on, asshole," John grumbled as the car closest to the light was taking forever to get a move on once it turned green. He had no doubt that the driver was probably too busy texting to pay attention. With a glance toward Kat, the man couldn't help but smile, almost proudly, whether she was paying attention to him or not. Just looking at her and the way she glowed, his heart thawed and seemed to swell. And yet he still hadn't said it. The words were caught in his throat and, as their lane started moving again, he pulled forward.

It all felt a little too familiar. Raindrops raced down the window, the wipers swiped back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and John peered through the rain at the intersection ahead of them. With the hold up that had just occurred, John was greeted with a red light when they reached the front of the line. The whole time that they waited, time seemed to go incredibly slow and he found himself gripping the steering wheel tightly. Despite his terrible sense of deja vu, however, John pulled forward when their light turned green, anxious to get home. Something just didn't feel right.

It all happened so quickly, though it felt like a million years to John. The other car seemingly came out of nowhere, swerving and running straight through the stoplight. John's first instinct was to try to avoid the collision, but when he slammed on the breaks, the car only skidded across the slick, wet ground. The horrible, and familiar, sound of metal on metal and glass shattering sounded all around them as John threw an arm across Kat's chest as if he didn't quite trust her seatbelt to keep her in her seat. In that moment, all John knew was chaos as it closed in around him. He didn't know if he'd blacked out or just shut his eyes as the car rolled once, twice, three times.

By the time everything came to a stop, John opened his eyes reluctantly, head pounding. His forehead felt wet and sticky and he tasted blood on his lip and in his mouth. Spitting it out, he could hear the rain pounding and cars squealing to a halt. The voices and yells were muffled by the wind and rain, though he doubted he would have been able to understand them anyway with the way his head was aching. Blood was starting to drip from his head and, looking up, John saw it splashing onto the roof of the car. That didn't seem right. "Fuck..." he groaned, trying to undo his seatbelt. They were upside down.

"Kat," he groaned, looking over at her. He was seeing double for a moment, but when he was finally able to focus, pure panic washed over him. "KAT-" Pulling and straining at his seatbelt, he couldn't get out of it. The dog tags around his neck were hanging down and he could feel all of the blood rushing to his head. Red in the face, he did the only thing he could think to do and grabbed a piece of glass. Despite it cutting into his hand, he hacked at the belt until he fell from the seat.

Yelling out in pain, John had to force himself onto his hands and knees. For a moment, he thought he was going to be sick, but he pulled himself out of the broken window of the car and stumble over to the passenger's side. He stumbled to her side, pulling at the door until it finally snapped open. "KAT!" Holding onto her, John yanked and pulled at the belt, his bloody hand slipping on it. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO..."

He didn't know what voices belonged to who and he sure as hell didn't recognize any of the faces, but he was pulled away from Kat by strangers. The dizziness was too much for him as he tried to resist though...

"DAD-" Lights flashed by and, the look of fatherly pride vanished from James's face as he whipped his head around to face forward. Slamming the brakes on did very little, the car still flying forward, brakes squealing followed by the sound of metal on metal, a hideous sound...

When John jolted awake, he didn't have even the slightest idea as to where he was. A light was shining above him, hurting his eyes, and when he moved his hand, there was a tugging sensation. For an instant, his heart nearly stopped in panic. The trench, the explosion... "If I'm going to die, it sure as hell isn't going to be in a trench of dirt, with my tail between my legs." Sitting upright and gasping for air, he looked around him, almost blindly. STAFF SERGEANT-"

Something wasn't right though. He was in the hospital, but something was off. His platoon... "I'm gonna die! I don't wanna die. I wanna go home to my mom..." Taking hold of his head, John tried to remember what happened to his men. His back against a tree, he could hear jets flying overhead. "TAKE COVER!" Lights flashing, sirens blaring, and unfamiliar faces... The explosion had been almost a year prior. Katerina.

When everything finally clicked, John yanks the wires right off of himself, IV and everything. The beeping that followed was loud and urgent as he went straight through the door, only to be greeted by nurses trying to push him back into his room and the safety of the bed. Still in his bloody clothes, John refused to budge. "Where is she?!" he demanded, on the verge of either freaking out or melting down.

[attr="class","jpostietext"]"Sir, you need to calm down-" John pushed past the nurses, looking for a familiar face. He needed to see her face, he needed to tell her. Jesus christ, why hadn't he just told her before? "Mr. Rhodes?" One of the nurses approached him, looking ready to call security if she had to. "We're doing everything we can for your wi-"

"She's my girlfriend. Where is she? Why can't I see her? What about the baby?" Something in his expression caused the nurse's eyes to soften. "We don't know about the baby just yet. She's being prepped for an emergency c-section." John's entire body went cold and his face was surely whiter than a sheet of ice. "If you won't stay in a bed, I can take you somewhere that you can wait."

Time seemed to be going by so slowly for John as he sat and waited in the hall outside of the operating room. His body ached, but he wasn't concerned for himself. There was a cut above his eye that had been glued and bandaged, along with many other various gashes. A few of his ribs were bruised and the doctor said something about a concussion, but other than that John wasn't too badly injured. Sitting there with his head in his hands, John only looked up at the sound of someone approaching.

Two police officers were heading down the hall with an obviously drunk man. The guy stank of booze and was sporting a few bandages and a pair of handcuffs. John had only glimpsed him for a moment before the collision, but he still knew who the hell it was and he was going to kill him. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD." he said, getting to his feet. He got in one good punch that knocked the guy off of his feet, but before he could hit the guy again, the cops were pulling him off and holding him back. He was seeing nothing but red. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?! MY BABY AND MY GIRLFRIEND MIGHT DIE BECAUSE OF YOU!"

They were having a hell of a time holding him back when two more pairs of arms took hold of him and pulled him away. John fought fiercely though until he heard a familiar voice. "He's not worth it, John," Andy said and, for a moment, he was caught off guard. The two officers dragged the drunken bastard away while they had the chance.

Andrew and Eric forced their brother, who was trembling with anger, to sit back down. He didn't know why Andrew was there, not after what happened, but he didn't question it. "I want to kill him. Kat and the baby-" Andy placed a comforting hand on John's back. "I know," he said when John couldn't finish his sentence. "Mom and Lizzie are on their way," Eric said, looking at his phone. "They called Kat's parents and they'll be here in a little while." John looked up at his brothers, completely at a loss for words.

His eyes started to sting with moisture as he got up and started to pace. "Jesus christ, this is all my fault," John said, feeling weak and ridiculous for being on the verge of tears. Unable to take it anymore, and ribs aching, he leaned against the wall and sank to the floor. His brothers joined him on either side. "It's not your fault..." Andy said. John lifted his head from his arms and looked to his oldest brother. He wasn't just talking about Kat and the baby. Eric's phone started to ring and he got up to answer it, a little ways down the hall.

"I love her and I didn't tell her." John admitted to Andy, his heart aching so badly that he thought it would kill him. "I don't know what I'm going to do if something happens to her or the baby, I need them." It was true too. John had never needed anyone or anything as much as he needed Kat and the baby. Andy just wrapped his arms around him, making John feel like he was a kid again. "I can't live without them..."